eminabind asked: Do you have any suggestions for how someone who is not female-identified could express or produce an environment that expresses the idea of, "I want you to be safe and happy and feel protected and autonomous," without acting with or presenting a savior complex?
1. Do it for the wellbeing of other humans and not for praise/reward. Respecting women is the bare minimum of human decency, not something for which you deserve a medal.
2. You’re not owed anything. Not sex, not attention, not time or effort, not automatic trust. You might know that you are completely harmless and well-intentioned, but remember that it is impossible for a woman to simply look at you and tell the difference between you and a violent hateful man. Do not resent women for their fear. Instead do all you can to make them feel safe.
3. Instead of insisting on derailing conversations with exceptions (“i’m not like that,” “only some men do that” etc.) LISTEN and EMPATHIZE with the frustrations and fears of the people having those conversations. They are talking about systemic problems and not you…unless your main concern is your own feelings and not the pain/fear/injury/deaths of women. Then you really are “like that.”
4. If you are a cisgender man, people - especially other men - will probably listen to you more readily than they will women. Acknowledge this privilege and use it. Elevate women’s voices and defend them.
5. But don’t conflate that with your voice or opinion being superior, necessary or even wanted. Sometimes it just isn’t. Know when to keep quiet and listen.
garykendal asked: What influenced your decision to make Desire from The Sandman androgynous? As in why did you decide to make them both androgynous and a sex symbol, rather than the usual sexuality through femininity that seems to be the most common in storytelling? I'm sorry if that makes no sense, it's very late and I'm kind of tired (which is probably why I managed to work up the nerves to talk to you).
It didn’t make sense to me to make Desire male or female. I started with the idea of someone who was attractive to you, whoever you are, and whatever sort of person you liked. And it seemed like Desire was much too big and important a concept to contain just one gender, or, for that matter, just two.
7 Things I Wish Parents Would Stop Teaching Their Children:
- That nudity is inherently sexual
- That people should be judged for their personal decisions
- That yelling solves problems
- That they are too young to be talking about the things they’re already starting to ask questions about
- That age correlates to importance
- That interacting with someone of the opposite sex is inherently romantic
- That the default for someone is straight and cisgender
Yay internet for a bit.
I’m currently torn between growing my hair out nice and long or going back to the pixie with an undercut that I had last year.